Dear Aunt Ife,
I have a problem. I am getting married to my dream man a month from today, He’s a good man, caring, well mannered and tremendously gifted in his career. We love each other so much that it’s beyond belief and everybody knows this. He has a childhood friend who he loves and respects a lot and he’s going to be his Best Man on our special day but, the problem is his childhood friend is a compulsive gambler and I recently figured out that my fiancé has started growing a habit of gambling as well. I have been in this life long enough to know that it never ends well for a gambler not to talk of a compulsive one. How do I advise my fiancé to ditch both the friend and the new habit of gambling before our special day.
Aunti Ife says:
A Compulsive Gambler knows no bounds, they are illogical, irrational, and are incapable of thinking beyond making their next bet. I can imagine how distraught you are. Being the spouse of a gambler can be disheartening and a very overwhelming situation for you; but not to worry, there are ways to curb this problem.
First and foremost, I’ll advise an intervention. In a loving manner, you need to lay out the evidence you have of his gambling habits and have a serious talk with him. If your fiancé accepts that he has a problem and is willing to get help then you have a good start. Please note that you must take a stand right now and make a move or you are subject to lose everything you have. Secondly, the friend has got to go! A decision has to be made immediately regardless of how long they have been friends.
If your fiancé still values your love, he must do the following:
- - See a licensed professional that can help you out.
- - Contact his bank to make his personal account a joint account or making you a signatory to his account so that you can properly monitor what he does with money during this recovery phase.
You can also do the following:
- - Spend quality time with him by showing him the negatives involved in his actions.
- - We all know evil communication corrupts good manners so if the best friend’s behavior is in the way of you and your happiness then you must divide and conquer. He’s got to go NOW.
- - Create a loving environment and accustom him to different activities during the week that you both like and have him look forward to having you around instead of his friend. Listen to what he likes doing and have fun with him.
- - Try not to criticize. Show love and pray more.
I wish you and your fiancé all the best. Hope I’ll be invited for the wedding.
Do you agree with Aunti Ife? What advice will you give to Shalewa?